An Empty Mind
by Uncle Charlie
Summary: Just how far will Napoleon go to get out of a little work - written as a Meme challenge


Napoleon sat at his desk and stared blankly at the wall. He clutched the edges of it and tried to breathe deeply.

His partner walked quickly into the office and stopped in mid stride. "Napoleon?"

"I… where am I?"

"What do you mean?" Illya grinned and resumed his path. "You are in New York."

"New… New York?"

"Yes…" Illya dropped the files he'd been carrying and walked to Napoleon's desk. "What wrong?"

"I… I don't… who are you?"

"You are being silly, Napoleon." Illya tilted Napoleon's head back and stared deeply into those brown eyes. "What are you playing at?"

"I… I hit my head… on my desk." The words came slowly, as if being pulled from a great distant memory. "I felt funny and when I opened my eyes… I was here. Wherever here is."

Illya leaned over and picked up a phone. He dialed a number and waited.

"Medical."

"Yes, this is Mr. Kuryakin. Could you have a doctor report to Mr. Solo's office?"

"I'll send someone right now."

"Thank you." Illya cradled the receiver. Napoleon hadn't moved, except to drop his gaze from Illya back to the far wall. "Do you feel dizzy?"

"A little lightheaded, like I stood up too fast."

"Medical is on their way."

"Okay."

The benign response made Illya frown. A noise behind him made him turn quickly, his hand already traveling for his weapon. A white coated man walked in, a small satchel in one hand.

"That was fast," Illya muttered. "I can't get from here to the canteen that quickly."

"I was in the area. Dougall cut his hand trying to prying something out of the vending machine."

"Again? You'd think after the third time he'd learn."

"So, how are you feeling, Mr. Solo?" Napoleon remained staring at the wall. "Illya?"

"He doesn't know who he is. He said he whacked his head on the desk."

"Huh, that shouldn't cause amnesia, but considering how bashed in your brain is I suppose we can't take any chances." The doctor lifted the receiver and dialed a number. "Yes, this is Dr. Dinnahea. Would you prep Room Five, please?" He covered the mouthpiece. "Can you walk?"

"Who? Me?" Napoleon looked from Illya to the doctor and back.

"Yeah, you."

"I… I think so."

"Okay, we'll be down in five. Have X-Ray standing by."

He slid an arm around Napoleon and helped him to his feet. Illya was instantly on Napoleon's other side.

"Where are you going?" Napoleon asked, studying Illya.

"With you. You're my partner," Illya said, smiling slightly. "It's my duty."

"That's okay, Illya. I've got him. I will give you a call when he'd ready to come back up."

"Are you sure?" Illya pulled away and waited, but Napoleon didn't make any protest. "Okay, well, if you need anything, let me know."

"Don't worry. I will."

Slowly, they shuffled to the elevator and waited for the car to empty before moving into it. No one else joined them and the doors slid shut.

After a moment, Dinnahea muttered, "I can't believe he fell for that."

Napoleon straightened and let out a breath. "I can't either."

"And I can believe that you are so desperate to get out of reviews that afternoon to pull this stunt on your partner."

"Ah, it's good training for him." Napoleon slapped his hands together. "Are we all set downstairs?"

"Yup. Every little detail has been taken care of. You have an afternoon of blissful relaxation waiting for you."

The elevator door slid open and Illya was standing there behind a wheelchair, leaning on its back.

"What's that for?" The doctor looked at the chair, then back up at the blond.

"You are going to need it once I am through discussing your part in Napoleon's sudden bout of amnesia. Napoleon is simply going to need a gurney."

"Ah, Illya…" Napoleon started, with a hesitant smile.

"Oh, you remember who I am now. Then you will also remember you have staff evaluations today and it's Section Two's turn. Do you think I'm so dense that I would fall for this same gimmick twice in a row?"

"What?"

"You tried the same thing last year."

"Did I?" Napoleon frowned. "Huh, I guess I must have forgotten."


End file.
